Sex and the Seven

Sunday, December 31, 2006


To the black females of America, I commend you on your strength, I admire your perseverance, I applaud your wisdom and I bow gracefully to your stellar presence and advice. In addition to the pressures of the society and the country we live in, we must fight, amongst our own race, to discover the hidden precious pearl of love to lead us in to happily ever after . I am a twenty five year old black female with a master’s degree and a lucrative career path. I graduated cum laude from an ivy league university. I am sophisticated, articulate, intelligent, driven with a kind spirit, a big heart, and a beautiful persona, both inside and out. One would think, given the previous attributes, that Prince Charming would be knocking down my door, but instead, I am bombarded with losers and males who think they are God’s greatest gift to women. I am warning you, black women of America, of a new loser to be aware of. I met him five months ago in an upscale club in the city of downtown, and despite it not being our first run in with one another, there was something about that particular evening that compelled me to give him my telephone number. Our first date went fairly well, although I was unimpressed with his countless attempts to vocally bludgeon me with the people he knew and connections he had around the city. I was so unimpressed in fact, that I reported to my clique after the date, that he was cocky and arrogant, and that if anything, we would be just friends. As time passed, he turned down the cocky button and I began to see him for who I thought he truly was. Coming off of a long break from a very hurtful situation, I was cautious, but still a little vulnerable in the dating game, for which he used to take advantage. He charmed me with his words, his empty allusions to the future, his focus and honesty, cooing about how much he liked me, if he missed me, how he liked being close to me and played such a convincing role that his sincere, award winning performance would have surely been nominated for on Oscar. He was aware of my break, both physical and mental, and appeared to be very unconcerned with its outcome, which, of course, was a passive aggressive manipulative tactic to induce me to end it sooner rather than later, which finally, I did. For a week afterwards, he kept up the charade, calling and texting me, lying about how much he missed me, and conveniently backed out of an event of which he was supposed to accompany me and meet my friends, at which point was the last I ever heard from him. Later I discovered, that I was one of many, one of whom I had met before, but had bragged about how he bagged her, in graphic detail, to a mutual friend, who of course, relayed the message to me entirely too late. As a female with antique moral fiber of the dating game, I am not a person who sleeps around, I am more of a serial monogamist, and shudder at the thought of one night stands, or being intimate with someone I just met or do not know. My decision, after five months of dating, was all on my own, for which I am responsible for and am not ashamed of. However, I am purely disgusted at the idea that someone would go to such extensive lengths, to create an agenda, and pretend to care for the purpose of sex. The year is 2007, and sex is the name of the dating game. There are plenty of women and men, who are willing to give it up on the regular without a second thought. Therefore, is it that serious that a male finds pride and satisfaction out of tricking his way into someone’s pants? I can’t help but wonder what it was about me, that made him surround me as a target. Was it my attractiveness? My intelligence? Or was it the challenge? Probably all of the above. I learned a huge lesson from this situation, and that is that no one appears to be who they really are, and especially who they claim to be. At this day and age, you must be truly careful, because there are still sick twisted losers that are plotting to put your panties in a box as a trophy to brag to their friends. Beware black women, on top of everything else, of the conniving asshole who has created a game and formulated a stable out of women, and thinks hitting and quitting is the way to win.