Sex and the Seven

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

This ain't no love thang...we're just kickin' it

So I'm sitting here feeling like a virgin blogger since I haven't taken a stab at this in a long time, but feeling compelled to get something off of my chest. When Nia Long and Larenz Tate both insisted that "This ain't no love thang...we're just kickin' it", in direct opposition to the glaring reality of their "situation" they hit the mark right on the head. This short, dismissive, statement is pregnant with meaning and symbolism. Men and women simply can't admit to mutual attraction, intense feeling, and a desire to build...at least not right away...and God forbid...not on a "timeline". It's starts with the man in the "situation"...unfailingly he will not want a "title". He may treat you like his woman, lay claim to "his stuff", and even take you home to meet his mama....but at the end of the day you are "dating". And please, don't get it twisted. Reliably, the woman, if she has even a hint of old fashion in her, (or if she's talked it over with her mother who will say "Baby...a man doesn't want to be troubled with these things, just keep him happy, he's not going anywhere"), will not want to rock the boat or trouble the waters by asking the dreaded "where is this going?". So instead, she will cloak herself in nonchalance, smile pretty for the camera, and be the perfect woman who never argues, doesn't get mad when he "forgets" to call, and hardly blinks an eye when his phone rings and he looks at it but doesn't answer. All this to soak up his praise when he says, "See that's why I like you, you don't complain and you don't get mad over small stuff." But this "small stuff" is left over for the woman to bitch, whine and moan about to her friends who can "feel her", which is simply code for "I'm going to agree with you because I got the same problem girl." "This ain't no love thang...we're just kickin' it." If you are a man or a "dating" woman in denial you are probably thinking "that's Hollywood", but something about it catches the essence of Black dating. Supposedly there is this magical moment when things become clear. At least that's what a man thinks. According to a man who shall remain nameless its ok to "Be good "friends" and one day get married", but that doesn't happen in real life. But then again...neither would Love Jones.
(Dedicated to the homies...you know who you are).

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